Welcome, one and all, to the dark lair of Dr. Frankenstein, and please say hello to Aubrey – the unfortunate brainchild of our indefatigable host for this H dinner, Bernhard.

Muahahaha….

As you can see, Aubrey is made of veg and kebabs, sewn together with string to create a truly abominable piece de resistance for our Halloween-themed dinner.

This is what happens when you leave a filmmaker unsupervised in the kitchen with a pile of produce and a toolbox.

He was actually quite tasty.

Here’s the recipe, should you wish to make it yourself:

Aubrey Frankenstein (Aubrey for Aubergine)

  • Whole Garlic Head
  • Small pumpkin for Aubry’s head
  • Sliced Carrots
  • Baby Parsnips and Carrots
  • 4x Courgettes
  • 1x Large aubergine
  • Lamb Kofta / kebabs
  • Chicken thighs
  • Cotton Yarn
  • (Add sweet potato if you want more carbs)

Method: On an oven tray lined with parchment:

  1. Arrange Pumpkin, Courgettes and Aubergine as if it were a body.
  2. Cut these veg open, hollow out, season inside with salt, pepper and paprika.
  3. Stuff with seasoned Lamb Mince
  4. Arrange sliced carrots flat on the whole dish filling in all the empty space between limbs. Season with whatever you want.
  5. Use cotton yarn to create ‘stitches’ (if you don’t have a large needle, you can use a wood kebab skewer, split the end of it to hold the string, and thread it through the vegetable. Wood Kebab skewers are also good for keeping the large vegetables in place by sticking them through each other).
  6. Put Chicken thighs in between all the limbs on top of the carrot slices. Season.
  7. Put in Oven at 190*c for 45-60 min. If the chicken thighs are done, your veggies are done too.
  8. Sprinkle chilli flakes for more kick if you like.

As you can no doubt see, this is not an affair for the faint of heart; Dr Pucherstein’s table was laden with all manner of ghastly delights:

To our deep disgust, it appears that our chef severed a handful of his fingers while preparing the food; But unwilling to waste perfectly good meat, served them at the dinner table!

(These are actually the remaining lamb kofta, with slices of garlic cloves cut lengthwise for fingernails):

I wouldn’t have you think that our friends are barbarians; Our innocent guests were gradually lured into this journey of gastronomical gore with a dinner containing all the accoutrements of a bourgeois evening with friends:

Before this pseudo-cannibalistic main dish, we served them a much more civilised Butternut Squash Soup, made according to this excellent recipe, and served in a hollowed-out pumpkin (with some green food dye for extra effect):

The guests were encouraged to add horror to this mild-tasting soup with a trio of Ghost-pepper sauces, aptly named Psycho Juice:

To accompany dear Aubrey and the Soup Pumpkin Cauldron on their macabre last journey, Bernhard and I made a selection of dips:

1) Ectoplasm Sludge: Sour cream with pumpkinseed oil & salt

2) Brain Stew Salsa:
2 handfuls of Cherry Tomatoes, half of them charred in a dry pan, half raw.
Parsley
4 chilli peppers (partially charred, stalks removed)
1/2 raw purple onion
lots of raw garlic
salt

All blitzed together, served in a glass tightly nestled in another hollowed pumpkin head:

3) Guacamole Vomit (Keep it chunky to look more gross):
2 x ripe avocados, mashed with a fork
6-7 cherry tomatoes, quartered
Squeeze of Lemon
Squeeze of Lime
Garlic Clove, finely chopped
Pepper and Salt to taste
Add chilli flakes for extra kick.

To carry the dips into the bowels of purgatory Dungeon Master Bernhard served some pitta bread and Fiery HELLoumi:
Slice a block of Cypriot Halloumi cheese, and fry in a pan with chilli oil till browned and crispy on both sides (best served warm).

Our vampiric thirst was quenched with tall glasses of Bloody Mary cocktails: Tomato juice, Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco, and a stick of celery.

And finally, to soothe the nasty shock of this horror fest, we made two-tier Halloween Brownies: the bottom layer dark & chocolatey, with a fiery-orange cheesy layer on top:

Now, I’m not sure how much of Bernhard’s apartment you could see in previous posts, but I can tell you it needs very little added to it to bring it to full Halloween mode – mostly black and skull-laden as it is 365 days a year. But add to it we did, with the best Flying Tigre had to offer – to brilliant effect.

We played this Spotify playlist to complete the atmosphere.

Naturally, we were all in fancy dress; Dorottya in particular gave a STUNNING appearance in her fem-political bloody bridal dress:

Now, if you have followed us into these darest of realms and have made it here in one piece, all that remains is to thank you, my dears – for joining us on this shadowy culinary road.

You have been, as always, faithful (if silent) companions.

Until next time…